Mieru
by uzumaki rakku
Summary: Post-war slow-burn. "Listen: you are not obligated to love anyone just because they love you and are willing to die for you." Naruto stared at him with wide eyes, and Kakashi's breath caught in his throat. He found himself unable to look away from those eyes that were, as always, that devastating shade of purest blue, brighter and more vivid than even the most radiant summer sky.
1. Chapter 1

**Post-war slow-burn. Will most likely be a very long fic. It started off as just an idea for a scene - which has been posted under SIYLM as a sort of deleted scene / prologue to this fic - where Naruto asks Kakashi why he's being stingy with using that eye, and Kakashi (after much pestering) says... well, you'll have to find out in later chapters. But, as with most of my fics / fic ideas, it grew to monstrous length. I've got a really interesting direction that I want to take it in, though, so... here's hoping I can get there!**

 **I've been sitting on this draft for way too long, so here's the first chapter. ^^**

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 ** _Mieru_**

"Hey, Naruto!"

"Yeah?" Naruto, walking down the street, stopped and turned at the sound of his name. "What's up, Sakura-chan?"

"I need to ask you something," she said, her expression serious. "Is there a problem with Kakashi-sensei's eye?"

He looked at her blankly. "Which one?"

"The one you gave him, obviously!" At Naruto's look of surprise, she elaborated, "We had a meeting this morning about improving the hospital's system and I noticed he wasn't using it – he even had it covered with his headband. And when I tried to ask him about it he was all 'Hmm, you said something?' so that got me nowhere."

"Uh, were you really expecting any other answer from Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto couldn't help but ask.

Sakura eyeballed him in annoyance. "Oh, shut up. Anyway, after that he left to see Gai-sensei and I had other work to do, so now I'm asking you about it."

"You checked it yourself last time, didn't you? I'm completely sure I didn't mess anything up – I don't mess up important things – so there's no way that eye is giving him trouble, right?" Naruto frowned, thinking. "I've spent a lot of time with him for village stuff and other stuff lately and he was using both eyes during those times. And I didn't detect any abnormalities in his chakra so maybe he just... forgot?"

"You keep track of the state of sensei's chakra?" Sakura stared at him, and Naruto felt his face heat up for some reason.

"T-that's not weird, is it? I mean, he went through a lot during the war and he's pretty much the Hokage now so it's perfectly natural for me to keep an eye on him! It'd be super lame if he got attacked or injured or something while I'm around!" He flailed, as Sakura raised a delicate eyebrow. "Definitely not weird at all. Nope. Not weird."

Sakura seemed like she wanted to comment, but in the end she just rolled her eyes. "Well, ask him about it when you get the chance. It's hard to get him to say anything about it, since the topic's still a bit… you know," she made a vague hand gesture, to convey that it was a sensitive thing to discuss.

"You're the only one he might actually give a proper answer to, since you're..." another vague hand gesture, "Kind of involved in the whole thing, so I'll leave it to you. And don't forget your next check-up for that arm!"

"Yeah, yeah…" Naruto grumbled after his teammate's retreating back, absently rubbing his right arm. It was still new, and he would need to put in some serious effort before it was as easy and natural to use as his original one. At least he still had chakra limbs at his disposal, something he utilized to great effect giving some would-have-been assassins a nasty surprise when they tried to ambush Kakashi on the outskirts of the village.

That was one week ago, when Naruto was still missing an arm, and the inability to form hand seals for his signature jutsu had probably given some people the idea that the Hokage's unofficial bodyguard would be open to attack. Naruto's response to such audacity was to instantly bust out full bijuu mode complete with all nine tails, plus six chakra arms, and beat them into the ground.

(Kurama was not impressed that he was rudely woken up from his nap to deal with what he deemed as small fry, but Kakashi seemed amused – if a little exasperated – by Naruto's overkill which made everything totally worth it.)

Grinning slightly at the memory, Naruto glanced at the sky and decided to invite Kakashi for dinner later in the evening. It was a little too late in the afternoon for lunch, and there was something else he had planned to do…

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The graveyard was empty of living visitors when he got there, awkwardly holding a basket of mixed zinnias. He had taken a route through the village that he had often used in his childhood, as it kept him from being seen by other people, but it had also given him no time to think about what he was going to say when he got there.

Naruto bent down to place the flowers on the gravestone, and felt something lock up in his throat as he stared at the name inscribed upon it.

There were too many thoughts in his head.

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Kakashi's footsteps came to a halt when he noticed that another person had arrived at the graveyard before him. He hesitated, half wanting to turn around and come back another time. But even from where he stood, he could see the tension evident in Naruto's posture – shoulders held in a stiff line, hands clenched into fists at his sides, and head bowed at an angle that was going to become quite uncomfortable even if he did not realise it yet.

Those were all things Kakashi himself was painfully familiar with.

He closed the book in his hand with a soft snap and placed it back into his weapons pouch. With his hands in his pockets Kakashi slowly walked towards Naruto, giving him ample time to leave if he did not wish for company.

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The approach of a familiar chakra presence pulled Naruto out of his swirling thoughts. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths to calm his emotions, unclenching his hands and letting his shoulders relax slightly. As the footsteps drew nearer he opened his eyes again, and bent down to shift a few flowers which had fallen to the side in the light evening breeze.

"I hope to see you again in the Pure Land," he finally said, and was relieved when his voice only shook a little. "And even if that doesn't happen, then…"

His fingers brushed over the cold stone, gently tracing the name engraved above the Konoha symbol.

Hyuuga Neji

"If you're reincarnated someday," he murmured softly. "Let's be friends again."

Naruto half turned around from where he was crouched on one knee, and tilted his head up to give the person standing nearby a small smile.

"Heya, Kakashi-sensei."

"Yo," Kakashi replied in a quiet voice, stepping closer and bending forwards slightly as he offered a hand. Naruto took it with his right hand, careful to apply the right amount of force with the still-new prosthesis, and let himself be pulled back upright.

He thought he might have felt Kakashi squeeze his hand for the fraction of a second before releasing it, because there had been the brief feeling of a firm but gentle pressure, and somehow it made him feel a little better.

"Thanks," he said, and Kakashi hummed in response, closing his eyes for a moment as he smiled.

Naruto's gaze lingered on the scar over Kakashi's left eye, and the beginning of a question tumbled out of his mouth before he could properly think it over.

"Kakashi-sensei, do you…" he hesitated, but the older man just looked at him patiently. "Do you feel the same way? About Obito, I mean, after everything that has happened..."

Kakashi dropped his gaze and shrugged helplessly.

Naruto bit his lip and glanced away as well, looking back at the gravestone. "It's been so long, and yet sometimes... no, most times, actually... I wonder if it would've been better if he didn't consider me his friend."

Guilt and regret began to creep back into his heart as he finally admitted to the thoughts that had consistently returned to haunt him, ever since the end of the war. He could feel Kakashi watching him, but stared at the ground instead of looking up to meet those eyes.

"And… and it all makes me feel like I'm an utterly horrible person to think that way, but maybe then he wouldn't have taken that attack – I never wanted him to – I'd rather he lived – should've just let that hit me – I'm not –"

Kakashi abruptly reached out and grabbed Naruto with both hands, pulling him into a tight hug. Naruto clung to him like a drowning man, shaking, as the remainder of his words were lost in sobs buried against Kakashi's shoulder.

There were a lot of things Kakashi wanted to tell him in that moment, like please don't say such things and it's not your fault and I'd do the same for you, yet he said none of them.

In the end all he could do was to hold Naruto close and offer what comfort he could, to let the young man lean on him and cry where no one else would see.

Kakashi closed his eyes and said, softly, "I understand."

"I know," came Naruto's muffled reply, spoken so quietly that it was almost inaudible.

The last rays of the setting sun gradually faded away, and eventually Kakashi slackened his grip so Naruto would be able pull away whenever he wanted to. Everything would go back to normal after that, for Naruto would rub his head sheepishly and apologise for his breakdown while Kakashi would tell him it was all fine, and then they could occupy themselves with other matters and put the episode behind them.

Except that was not what happened at all.

For some unknown reason Naruto was still not letting go, and it was causing Kakashi increasing alarm. Because if Naruto remained in such close proximity, there was a very real danger that Kakashi would say something he had resolved never to mention again. He was suddenly terrified that he would become attached – too attached – to the illusory, ephemeral intimacy of that moment, and want something he could not have.

Someone he could not have.

And yet that intoxicating feeling of having that person so close to him, warm and solid and real, made him incapable of mustering the willpower to physically pull himself away or push Naruto back.

Completely at a loss for what to do next, Kakashi found himself bringing up the first thing that came to his mind. "Neji wasn't the only person who values your life above his own, you know."

Naruto was so startled by those words that he immediately pulled back to stare at Kakashi, who continued, "Even if Neji hadn't jumped in at that time to take the hit, someone else would have – and did."

Naruto's confusion cleared, but something in his expression closed off, becoming unhappy and distant.

"I didn't want her to do it either," Naruto said dully.

Kakashi said nothing. Naruto's reaction had made him unsure of whether he had gone too far with that reminder, and overstepped an invisible boundary into things he had no right to comment upon. An uncomfortable silence fell between them, and Naruto fidgeted while Kakashi awkwardly stuck his hands in his pockets.

Eventually Naruto sighed, ran a hand through his hair distractedly, and spoke.

"I just don't know what I'm supposed to do." He paused, and seemed to have difficulty in continuing.

"About what, Naruto?" Kakashi prompted gently.

"About… well, it's just…" Naruto threw his hands into the air in frustration, and then all the words started pouring out in a rush. "Everyone seems like they're expecting me and her to, I dunno, be together? Sometimes they ask me about it like they're joking, but also not really? And, it's just, the truth is, I've been avoiding her recently because I feel like I should do something, but I keep hesitating and I don't know why, but then I remember how both of them jumped in front of me that time and – I feel like I owe them something, owe her something."

Kakashi's stared at him with wide eyes, once again feeling highly alarmed but for an entirely different reason from before. He knew full well that he was in no way an objective third party in that situation, given his own feelings, but the thoughts and emotions that Naruto was confessing to him all pointed towards a state of mind that he was only too familiar with.

"I…" Naruto bit his lip, then forced himself to keep talking because he knew he would never get another chance at this. If he stopped himself before he could fully open up about everything that was on his mind, then he would never again be able to speak of those things to anyone else. It was now or never.

"I don't know if I really like… if I really love her, but I keep feeling like I… should? And how do I even know whether I love her or not anyway? It's – it's not like I really know anything about love in the first place, so… I…" He shook his head, hunching his shoulders and drawing his arms closer to himself as the evening air suddenly felt very cold.

"Naruto."

He did not respond to the voice softly calling his name. His cheeks were burning with shame at having admitted to the source of his greatest uncertainties, and he could not bear to look up and see that Kakashi's concern had transformed into pity.

"Please look at me, Naruto."

He shook his head again, and heard Kakashi sigh. A gloved hand reached towards his face, gently wiping away the tear-tracks on his cheeks – he hadn't even realised that he had started crying again, god he really was pathetic – before lifting his chin so he had to look straight into Kakashi's eyes.

Naruto found himself unable to turn away.

There was no judgment or disappointment in Kakashi's eyes, only understanding, and some part of Naruto's brain abruptly stopped working as he was struck by a sudden thought.

He has really kind eyes...

"Listen," Kakashi said, and something about the quiet earnestness of his voice made Naruto's heart beat faster in his chest. "You are not obligated to love anyone just because they love you and are willing to die for you."

Naruto stared at him with wide eyes, and Kakashi's breath caught in his throat. He found himself unable to look away from those eyes that were, as always, that devastating shade of purest blue, brighter and more vivid than even the most radiant summer sky.

Some of the doubts clouding Naruto's expression cleared as he thought over Kakashi's words, yet he still did not seem entirely convinced. Kakashi sighed again, cleared his throat, and added softly, "I would gladly lay down my life to protect yours should it be necessary, but you won't feel compelled to love me, would you?"

An indecipherable expression came over Naruto's face, before he gave an exclamation so loud it sent birds flying from the neighbouring trees.

"WHAT – "

Kakashi winced at the volume. Naruto continued to splutter.

"But why would you – but I – what."

"Um?" Kakashi said weakly. Surely Naruto's reaction had been a little extreme…

Meanwhile, Naruto's mind was racing as he tried to sort out his thoughts while also having what amounted to an internal freak out.

So, okay, maybe Kakashi was right and he didn't have to feel like he should love anyone just because they loved him, but…

Why did his heart just stop when Kakashi said he was willing to die for Naruto?

And for some reason, hearing such words from Kakashi gave him a completely different feeling from when Hinata was mentioned earlier, which had been… a sort of sinking uncertainty, and guilt.

What made Kakashi so different from all the others, that he could make Naruto feel this way?

"Oh," Naruto said, faintly.

"Naruto?" Kakashi prodded cautiously, wondering if he had said too much and made his former student uncomfortable.

"Oh," Naruto said again, blinking. "I… see. I'm going to have to think over some stuff."

Kakashi scratched his head in bemusement as he watched Naruto adopt a thinking pose and start walking away. I have absolutely no idea what is going on, but at least he seems less upset…

Then Naruto abruptly spun around after taking ten steps, marched back to where Kakashi was still standing, and leaned in to peer at him closely.

Kakashi swallowed, leaning back a little. "Yes?"

"Dinner," Naruto said firmly, grabbing onto Kakashi's arm and pulling him forward. "I almost forgot. Let's go."

Kakashi stumbled at the unexpected force, completely bewildered by what was going on. "Naruto, what do you mean by dinner – "

Naruto continued pulling. "I meant you're coming with me and we're going to have dinner, obviously!"

"What, now?" Kakashi tried and failed to extract his arm from Naruto's grip. "Did you just decide that?"

Naruto huffed, half-turning to give Kakashi a look of exasperation. "Yes, now, since it's dinner hour and all. And I actually decided this earlier today, but almost forgot because of everything else that was going on. Come on, come on, let's go already!"

He yanked, but Kakashi yanked back. "Wait, don't I get a say in this?"

"No," came the flat reply. "Because there's stuff I gotta ask you about and you'll just go off without answering if I don't make you sit down and talk. Properly. Like a normal person."

Kakashi made another noise of protest and tried to dig in his heels, alarmed by the prospect of having to answer questions instead of evading them. "Can't we do this another day and time? I'll even treat you to Ichiraku's if you want –"

Naruto suddenly stopped, and only years of shinobi training kept Kakashi from losing his balance.

"Actually," Naruto said in a very odd voice. "I was going to find some place that serves… rice."

Kakashi grabbed onto Naruto's shoulder with his free hand, and turned the young man around to face him.

His earlier resistance replaced by concern at such uncharacteristic behaviour, Kakashi looked deep into Naruto's eyes and asked, "Are you okay?"

Naruto went bright red. "FINE! I'm fine. Completely fine." He released his grip on Kakashi's wrist and crossed his arms, scowling. "It's not that weird for me to suggest something other than ramen, okay?"

"Well…" Kakashi said slowly. Naruto went even redder with indignation, and glared.

"Oi, you were the one who told me not to eat ramen all the time!"

"Yes, yes," Kakashi raised his hands in a placating gesture, trying not to laugh. "You just seemed… a little out of sorts when you suggested that, so I was concerned."

"If you really must know," Naruto muttered, uncrossing his arms and extending his right arm, palm up, for Kakashi to see. "I can't really use chopsticks yet."

"Ah," Kakashi said.

Naruto shrugged. "It's no big deal, I'll figure it out eventually."

The prudent thing to do in that situation, Kakashi knew, was to acquiesce to Naruto's dinner request and then distract him during the meal so he would forget to ask whatever troublesome questions he had come up with. It was a viable plan. Naruto could be very determined and very insistent, but given enough time and enough deflections by Kakashi, he should be able to – eventually – turn Naruto's attention to other matters. Matters that were much worthier of Naruto's interest, and not in any way related to Kakashi.

It was, Kakashi thought, a fairly good plan. Which was why the next thing that came out of his mouth was—

"Would you like me to help you?"

Naruto blinked. Kakashi bid a silent farewell to his self-control.

"With… what?" Naruto asked, completely caught by surprise.

That was his final chance to back out, Kakashi knew, so of course he threw it away completely:

"With using chopsticks."

And then, because if he was going to dig his own grave he may as well do it the whole way, "Like the last time you couldn't use your right arm."

Naruto's face lit up, with such distracting radiance that Kakashi completely forgot to sidestep the flying tackle hug which came immediately after.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI," Naruto declared happily, while Kakashi nearly had a heart attack. "I ADORE YOU."

Poof.

Naruto was left holding an armful of air as Kakashi swiftly Shunshin'd out, coughed, and tried to bring his heartbeat back to a normal pace. "You always exaggerate about ramen," he said, looking anywhere but at Naruto.

"Ehehehe…" Naruto rubbed the back of his head, looking sheepish. "Shall we go then?"

"Yes, Naruto," Kakashi sighed, resigning himself to his fate.

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 **Kakashi... good luck with the slow burn. It's going to take a while.**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts about this chapter, so do leave a review! Even a ":D" "D:" or a keysmash would be much appreciated. Love you all~**

 **-fuurin**


	2. Chapter 2

**Betcha thought I was dead ayyy (well I am, but on the inside)**

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"So!" Naruto began, and Kakashi immediately attempted a deflection.

"Are you sure you don't want another bowl?"

"Yes, quite sure," Naruto said firmly, for he had already eaten (or rather, been fed) two extremely satisfying bowls of his favourite food in the world while Kakashi did everything possible to avoid interrogation conversation. His tactics included (but were certainly not limited to) holding a piece of chashu just out of reach, and then moving it even further away as Naruto leaned forward to take a bite. Naruto was not without some tricks of his own, however, and that particular attempt at a diversion was quickly given up by Kakashi when the aggravated blond had nearly climbed onto the man's seat in his pursuit of the sliced pork.

The look of incredulity and alarm in Kakashi's eyes had sent Naruto into a gleeful cackles, which only ended when he realised that Kakashi had taken the opportunity to finish his own bowl at unbelievable speed, preventing Naruto from catching even the briefest glimpse of the face underneath the ever-present mask.

"Well then, it's getting late, if you'll excuse me - grk!"

Kakashi attempted a swift escape, which failed spectacularly when he was very nearly tripped by the ankle Naruto had hooked behind Kakashi's knee.

Kakashi noted mournfully to himself that Naruto had already paid the bill, and was currently looking at him with a most unimpressed quirk of the eyebrow.

"I've seen you pull that trick too many times to fall for it so easily," Naruto said, and Kakashi swallowed his pride for a moment to give his best imitation of a kicked puppy in response.

Naruto blinked. "Did you always know how to do that, or was it something you learned with the Sharingan?" he asked in genuine curiosity. "It'd be a lot more convincing if you weren't trying to form one-handed seals for Shunshin behind your back."

Kakashi was probably supposed to be impressed by such perceptiveness, but all he felt at that moment was aggravation. "Mou, must you hound your poor old sensei like this?"

"You're hardly poor, or old, but the answer is yes," Naruto huffed. "Seriously, I just wanted to ask you about your eye. It's not that bad a question, right? Hey, y'know what - I'll let you ask me any question you want in exchange."

"I don't - "

"Come on, please?" Naruto pleaded, leaning closer to stare imploringly at the taller man. "There's got to be something you want to know about me, right? ...I'm not that boring, am I?"

Kakashi groaned, pressing a hand over his eyes to shut out the image of Naruto's earnest face. "Fine."

Naruto beamed.

"But I'm not having this conversation in the middle of the street," Kakashi said firmly.

"Then, can I visit your place? I want to see how Ukki-kun is doing." Naruto paused, and squinted suspiciously at Kakashi. "You haven't tossed it out, have you? I'll have you know, Ukki-kun is an unusually resilient plant, capable of surviving just fine for several weeks without a lot of water, and…"

"Ukki-kun is fine," Kakashi interjected quickly. "I'd rather go back to the office, though, there are a couple of things I need to check on."

"Oooh, is this about next week's Five Kage Summit?" Naruto perked up. "I heard they're lowering the number of guards back to one."

"Ah, yes," Kakashi said, relieved at the shift of the conversation back to official matters. "Since it's the first summit after the war, the other villages want to keep it simple – you could almost call it a social gathering, by shinobi standards."

He started walking, and Naruto fell into step next to him. "It's nice, isn't it, to see how far we've come? Sometimes it feels like the war just started yesterday, and sometimes it feels like all of that happened in another lifetime."

"Mm." Kakashi's wry smile was concealed, as always, by the mask covering his face.

"Still," Naruto went on, "When I see the progress we've made towards peace I know that the war's over, and that we're definitely getting somewhere."

And it's all because of you, Kakashi added silently. He looked away before Naruto could catch the emotion in his eyes.

"So, uh…" Naruto fidgeted. "Have you already decided on who's going with you?"

Kakashi blinked. "Why, are you not free?"

"Eh? Then – I mean – But you haven't said anything!"

Kakashi looked at him, caught between amusement and incredulity. "I would've thought it was obvious."

Naruto went red and said nothing else for the next few minutes. The silence was not uncomfortable, however, so Kakashi just let it be. There was something natural and companionable about walking with Naruto through the village, watching as the evening bustle slowly settled into the tranquility of night.

(He could go on like this forever, Kakashi realised, and be content.

It would be enough.)

Eventually Naruto spoke. "Sensei, there's something I'm not quite getting that I'd like you to explain to me." After Kakashi cast him a wary glance and nodded slowly, he asked, "What do you think ninjutsu is?",,

Kakashi blinked at him, rather bemused.

"That's a difficult question," he said slowly, "Ninjutsu spans a wide range of jutsu, and it's difficult to give a real definition other than 'anything that isn't taijutsu or genjutsu'."

"Yeah, but how would you define it?"

"Well," Kakashi began, "Let's go over what differentiates ninjutsu, genjutsu and taijutsu from one another first. The key difference between ninjutsu and taijutsu is the role which chakra plays in its usage."

"Mmhm?" Naruto's eyes were bright and attentive, and Kakashi had to look away again to re-gather his scattered thoughts before he could continue.

"Chakra is the core of all ninjutsu, but it only plays a supplementary role in taijutsu. Ninjutsu is also different from taijutsu in how it isn't limited to physical attacks, and may not involve using much of the body."

"...Y'know what, that actually makes so much sense," Naruto said, awe-struck. "Seriously, how do you do it?"

"Moving on," Kakashi said firmly, refusing to be sidetracked by Naruto's unproportionally impressed reaction, "The difference between ninjutsu and genjutsu is a bit trickier, since both require chakra in order to function. However, in almost all cases genjutsu can only affect the mind, and does not impact the physical world outside of the person currently under an illusion. Ninjutsu will always be able to impact the external world in some way."

Naruto tilted his head, looking thoughtful. "So..."

"I suppose I could define ninjutsu as something that uses chakra to affect the external world, usually involving hand-seals and incantations," Kakashi concluded, just as they reached the entrance of the administrative building.

"Hmm," Naruto said, as they ascended the staircase leading up to what was now Kakashi's office. "I think there's something missing from that, though."

Kakashi paused in the corridor and turned to look at him, intrigued. "What would that be?"

"Intention," Naruto said simply. "You have to want the jutsu to do a certain thing, otherwise it's just random chakra smashing around."

"Fair enough," Kakashi acquiesced.

"Say," Naruto began again, once they had entered the office, "You remember how Kaguya could use any ninjutsu she wanted, without the need for hand-seals or words?"

Kakashi grimaced slightly at the memory. "Yes."

Naruto walked across the room without stopping to switch on the lights, and stood before the large window overlooking the village. "I think the… purest? or, I dunno, oldest? – form of ninjutsu is simply having something in mind and making it happen, using chakra." He gazed up into the night sky, where the moon had yet to rise but some stars were already becoming visible. "That was what Kaguya was able to do, and then her sons… None of them needed to be taught which hand-seals to use or what words to say, they just made whatever they had in mind into reality."

"That could explain why some of the most highly advanced ninjutsu have few hand-seals, or none at all," Kakashi mused, closing the door and joining him. "They are more similar to the ancient form of ninjutsu."

A smile pulled at a corner of Naruto's mouth. "Like how Rasengan is actually similar to Bijuudama?"

"Minato-sensei truly was a genius," Kakashi said quietly.

"Y-yeah," Naruto's smile became a little wobbly, and he quickly cleared his throat before pushing on. "Rasengan's still not the highest form, though. I mean, it still requires practice to be able to make the chakra move in that exact way. It isn't something that can be learnt instantly."

"Your speed at picking it up is still highly impressive, you know."

Naruto's spun around to stare at him. "I – really? You're not just saying that?"

"I was impressed when I heard about it from Jiraiya-sama," Kakashi said, bemused.

"Oh. Um. Thanks," Naruto said in a very small voice. "...You know you could've told me that back then, right? It… would've meant a lot to me… I guess…"

"I," Kakashi was completely bewildered by this change of mood. "I didn't know you cared so much about my opinion back then?"

Naruto turned back to the window. "I always have, okay? BUT ANYWAY," he went on before Kakashi could say anything, "AS I WAS SAYING."

"...Yes?" Kakashi said warily.

"You know how I usually need a while to pick up new jutsu, and it doesn't usually work on the first try?"

"Mm, yes?" Kakashi said again.

"So like, during the war, after I received some power from the Rikudo Sennin, using jutsu felt a bit… different." Naruto paused, thinking, then went on abruptly, "Actually – no, it was since I finished nature chakra training that jutsu started to feel different to use. Sort of… like it was easier for me to focus on exactly what I wanted to make happen."

"That's… intriguing," Kakashi said, leaning against the edge of his desk as he thought it over.

"Also, stuff would work better in general - I was able to make new jutsu much faster," Naruto went on. "But it wasn't until after I came back from the Kamui dimension with my new abilities that I was able to… sort of just know what I am capable of, and make that happen? I hope that makes sense – it was like everything felt a lot more natural, and a lot more reliable."

"Such as when you figured out gudoudama manipulation, which requires a level of elemental manipulation we never had the chance to attempt before the war started," Kakashi suggested, and saw Naruto's reflection in the window blink in surprise.

"Well, yeah," Naruto said, "But actually I was thinking of something else."

Kakashi's voice was soft. "When you saved Gai's life after he opened the Eighth Gate."

"And then when I gave you your eye," Naruto added, turning to face him.

Kakashi stepped forward, and before he realised it his hands had placed themselves on Naruto's shoulders. "I want you to know that I'll never be able to thank you enough for what you did back then." The words seemed to tumble out of his mouth, and he had to take a breath to compose himself. "Gai is... I suppose he is my oldest friend."

He closed his eyes, remembering how helpless he had been, when Gai had smiled and cast away his own life so that others may live. "And I am truly glad that I did not have to lose another friend that day."

"I – you – " Naruto flung his arms around the taller man and hugged him so hard that Kakashi felt the breath leave his lungs.

"There's seriously no need for you to suddenly get so formal with me and talk about thanking, okay?" Naruto's words were half-muffled against Kakashi's shoulder. "Seriously, don't, I don't know how to handle that. I just wanted to do the most I could, to save my comrades and to help you."

"Thank you," Kakashi said softly. "You didn't need to go so far for me – ow!"

Naruto finally loosened his grip after giving Kakashi a slightly vicious squeeze. "Of course I do," he said. "Stop thanking me, you're starting to make a really bad habit out of it!"

Kakashi had to cough to hide his startled laugh. "Sorry, sorry…"

"Anyway!" Naruto said, pulling back again. "What I am trying to say is, when I restored your eye, I didn't have any of the technical stuff in my head – that's the kind of thing Sakura knows really well, not me – but I'm still entirely sure I didn't mess up anything with the eye. Because I was focusing really hard on what I wanted to do – and then I made it happen. I don't think it would've worked if my intention wasn't entirely certain."

With Naruto's hands lightly grasping him by the forearms, and Naruto's intent gaze fixed upon his face, Kakashi found himself quite trapped.

"So…" Naruto said. "What I'm really getting at is… since I'm sure I didn't mess up with your eye, why do you still cover it sometimes?"

Kakashi looked at him for several seconds.

"You've gotten craftier at holding conversations that go in circles," he finally said.

Naruto gave him a cheeky grin. "I've learnt from the best."

It was some cause for alarm, Kakashi realised, that he was not sure if he should take that comment as a compliment or a roundabout rebuke. Naruto was, without a doubt, truly a force to be reckoned with.

"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said, watching him closely. "Can you tell me what's going on with that?"

Kakashi looked away. "Just an old habit."

Naruto waited, but he said no more.

During the wars, he would always have his Sharingan uncovered when there was a crisis, and that eye had seen many things that were not easy to forget. As time went by it became increasingly difficult to dissociate his left eye from the stresses of the battlefield, and even though he now had a different eye it was still a struggle to break out of old habits.

There were days, especially during the earlier years, when he would wake up, open both eyes without thinking, and have his entire body go tense out of reflex. It didn't matter if he was in his own room and his own bed, for he would forget where he was – the first thought in his head would always be that he was in some kind of danger.

"Sorry," he said, after the long silence between them grew uncomfortable. "You still call me 'sensei', but I'm really not being much of a role model, am I? Falling into bad habits, and all."

"That's dumb," Naruto said immediately. "You're always putting yourself down like that, and I don't believe any of it! You're – you're the best, okay, I don't know anyone greater than you – and I don't care if you don't believe it, 'cause that's what I believe."

As Kakashi looked at him with great incredulity, Naruto crossed his arms with a huff and, not knowing what else to say, turned bright red.

"Um," Kakashi said.

Naruto glowered at him.

"Thank… you…?" Kakashi offered weakly.

He heaved a sigh of relief when that response proved satisfactory, as Naruto dropped the glare and uncrossed his arms.

"...Say, I was wondering," Naruto said, thoughtful. "Could you tell me what it feels like to have a Sharingan?"

"What it feels like?" Kakashi echoed, blinking. "...Why do you want to know?"

"Well, I mean, I've never had a doujutsu," Naruto shrugged. "And it always seemed like using the Byakugan and the Sharingan and all that was really complicated, you know? Like you're seeing a whole lot more stuff than everyone else does."

"Plus, you know, yours always seemed to make you…" he paused, looking for the right words to use. "...Really worn out."

"It's a strange feeling," Kakashi said after a long pause. "Especially when I first started using it. The body isn't used to channelling so much chakra to the eye at once, and it takes some time to adjust. This tends to disrupt the allocation of chakra elsewhere in the body at first, too, so a lot of things feel rather off balance. And, like any other part of the body, over-straining it will cause injury that takes time to recover from."

"Does it feel really weird, now that it's gone?" Naruto tilted his head. "Is that why you still cover your eye?"

Yes, Kakashi wanted to say, to take the excuse offered up to him and put an end to Naruto's questions, but somehow he couldn't give voice to the lie.

"Not… exactly," he said instead. "It's a bit difficult to explain, but the eye itself feels fine, it's just what's connected to it that isn't quite…" He trailed off, uncertain of how to put it into words.

"Are you talking about the area around the eyeball, or something else?" Naruto stepped closer.

"I," Kakashi took a half step back. "I don't know."

Naruto took another step forward. "Can I check?"

Kakashi tried to put more space between them, but was thwarted by the desk behind him.

"I thought you said you didn't think anything was wrong with it?" he said, looking anywhere but at Naruto.

To his surprise and relief, Naruto took a step back instead of moving even closer. "But you just said it's not the eye itself, but something connected to it that's feeling weird." Naruto frowned, biting his lip. "It can't hurt to check, right? In case anything's wrong?"

"How would you know?" Kakashi cast a glance at him and immediately regretted it.

"I know the feeling of your chakra well enough to tell when something's wrong." The words fell from Naruto's lips as though nothing was more natural in the world, and then he turned magnificently red. "That is – I mean – argh, just sit down and let me take a look at your eye!"

Kakashi took a second to calculate his chances.

He could attempt an escape right then, but Naruto seemed dead-set on his objective and there was a rather good chance the irascible youth would pursue him all the way to his doorstep if Kakashi bailed on him. It was probably better to just let Naruto have his way, and hope that the whole thing would soon be over and done with.

Kakashi sighed. "Fine."

He let Naruto herd him into a chair, and was able to maintain a neutral façade until Naruto leaned in close… too close.

"Naruto – "

"Shh, I need to focus."

Kakashi froze completely as he felt the fingers of Naruto's hand gently press against the underside of his chin, tilting his head back a little more. Naruto was frowning as he peered intently into Kakashi's eye, and he was so close that Kakashi could easily count the individual strands of his eyelashes. They were darker than his hair, but beneath the moonlight they looked almost silvery-gold.

Kakashi couldn't breathe.

"Close your eyes?" Naruto said, so quietly that Kakashi's addled brain almost failed to understand him. Naruto's left hand hovered in the corner of his vision, waiting. He could still refuse, make his excuses, and leave. It was not too late to back out… he could still escape.

Kakashi closed his eyes.

He felt the touch of Naruto's fingertips against his skin, light and hesitant as they trailed over his brow, slowly moving to rest on his eyelid.

It took all of his self-control to remain still. His heart was beating wildly in his chest – but not out of fear.

"I'm going to use a very small amount of chakra," Naruto said. "Is that okay?"

Kakashi swallowed and gave him the tiniest nod, trying to regulate his breathing. He could almost see the soft golden glow that was just before his eyelids. A gentle feeling of warmth settled over his eye, a light tingling sensation that made his breath catch in his throat.

He had thought that the images of Obito's crushed body and Rin's terrified face would be burned into his mind forever, and he would never be able to close his eyes without seeing them there.

The Mangekyou Sharingan had captured everything in perfect detail, preserving the most painful moments of his life.

Everything had only become worse after Obito's true death, for Kakashi had watched him shatter with excruciating slowness, and it had been his fault.

But now... his eyes were closed, but the terrible visions did not appear.

Leaving himself open to Naruto's scrutiny, letting Naruto's hands linger at his neck and over his eyes, Kakashi had never found himself more vulnerable.

He had also never felt more safe.

He gave a small hum of surprise as Naruto's fingers drifted slowly over to his other eye, resting on his eyelid for the briefest moment and applying the same touch of chakra.

"Just in case," Naruto murmured, and pulled his hands away.


End file.
